| "Where's
Waldo? Who cares. They can keep him."
- Emo Eskimo |
  |
| Music: |
"Opening" |
 |
By:
Julian Lefay |
| Platform: |
NES |
|
Developer(s):
|
Bethesda
Softworks |
| Publisher(s): |
T*HQ |
| Designer(s):
|
| Randy
Linden |
Nintendo
Programming |
| Paul
Coletta |
Nintendo
Programming |
| Paul
Coletta |
Game
Design |
| Randy
Linden |
Game
Design |
| Dev
Madan |
Graphics
Designer |
| Julian
Lefay |
Music
Composer |
|
| Release
Date(s):
|
  |
1991
|
|
| Mode(s): |
1
Player |
| Genre:
|
Puzzle |
| Saving Option: |
N/A |
![]()
| Some
time back in 1991, somebody out there decided to come up with this
crap... that somebody was T*HQ. As you know, this game is based on the book, Where's
Waldo? where you'd have to find the guy in red and white
striped clothes named Waldo (Wally in Europe). Now, The Great Waldo Search
would follow this boring, irritating shit-fest a year
later and would show up to stink up SNES and Genesis
as well! But enough of that. Where's Waldo? has previously
been torn up by many people on the internet (especially Seanbaby)...
now its me
and Double E's
time... sadly.
|
|
|
 Storyline:
1/5 |
|
Where's Waldo? Who cares.
They can keep him.
|
|
|
Graphics:
2/5 |
|
Look into your toilet... and that's
what's identical to this disaster of a game. It came out in '91 yet it
looks like something from the beginning of the NES's life
and it makes an Atari look superior! I'll give it some
credit, there are some objects that have added texture in spots like the
stages on the stage screen. Other than that, everything's plain.
|
|
|
Audio:
0.5/5
|
|
Did you hear the intro
tune? If not, you got to get your cheap-ass speakers fixed or buy some.
If so, you now know first hand how bad the music in this game is. Funny
thing is, if you look at the 0/5 animation up top, he beats the XBox
to the background beat! The sound effects are just as bad or worse.
|
|
|
Gameplay:
1/5
|
|
The game starts off with a
post card with the title on it with Waldo's mug. Is it a message to send
the game back? Who knows. Next, they give you the option to either
practice, play on easy, medium, or hard, but sadly don't give you the
option to self destruction the piece of crap. Practice mode just has you
play with no time limit, "easy" gives you 960 seconds with no
scrolling levels, "medium" gives you 660 seconds with
scrolling levels and a smaller "locator box", and
"hard" 460 seconds with longer scrolling levels and an even
smaller "locator box".
Now that that's
out of the way, the first shot of the game shows you nine levels to try;
Train Station, Forest, the Cave,
the Fairground, the City, the
Subway, the Castle, Launch Pad, and Moon (hope he stays there). Now, I'm
not sure if the nine levels are actually four stages in this level and
then there's another level or not... I don't care. I'm not playing that
far!
Now the actually
gameplay itself is ridiculous. Looking down on the screenshots below and
you can see my point... the graphics are downright vomit. You actually
have to find a red and white stick man through all of that crap under a
certain time limit which keeps going through the entire game! Not only
that, if you press A button anywhere on the screen during play you are
deducted 20 seconds off your clock! I mean, the characters are that
small I have to squint my eyes, my eyes are burning and watering just to
find that dipshit and besides... they all look like Waldo!
|
|
|
Control:
2/5
|
|
There is some controls in
this "game" if you want to call it that. D-pad controls the
aimer to find Waldo, select chooses the mode in the beginning, start
button picks that mode, and A button is used if you think you see Waldo.
Quite frankly, I think its an insult to have a NES
controller or NES anywhere near this crap... its
disgraceful.
|
|
|
Fun
Factor: 0/5 |
|
You know, this game brings me to
tears. Well, that doesn't say much because I always cry, but this is
different! These are the tears that no man should ever shed. The books,
the Waldo books are more fun than this. I might just burn my copy or
burn myself, whatever comes first. I'm going to go listen to Black
Flag now.
|
|
|
Frustration:
5/5
|
|
... OK. Double E, you need
to chill or somethin'. Anyways, this game SHOULD be burned, shattered
with a hammer, or if you got a copy just send it to me because I collect
the stuff! Back to the game, Waldo is almost impossible to find at times
and the constant ticking clock pisses me off. Remind me to never play
another T*HQ games.
|
|
|
Overall:
0/5
|
| This
is the first time a NES FANZ review received a
"0/5" rating... its sad. If you look down to the
"Related Content" links, you'll see this crappy game on TWO
bad NES game lists. Why isn't it on my 10 Worst Games of the NES?
Quite simply it didn't even deserve a spot there. Heck, it doesn't
even deserve to be inside a NES let alone have a review
for it but here it is.
So, overall the
graphics sucked, music was horrible, the gameplay was haneous, it was
made by T*HQ, fun as a TNA
iMPACT! match, and it was based on a book that you only read when
your bored anyway.
|
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Related
Content:
|
|
|
  
-
Juggalo/Hulkamaniac
& Emo Eskimo
|
